7.15.2009

Hardly Amazing;;

It is hardly amazing to find out that some people just aren't who you think they are.

But it is heartbreaking.
It tears you up.
It kills you.
Just when you thought you knew.

Just when I thought I knew.
But apparently I know nothing. What I thought I knew is blown away;; now nonexistent.
It is hardly amazing to find out what you never asked to know, what you never wanted to know;;

what you never wanted to be true.

It kills you. Slowly, painfully. And it shows no mercy.
Only God can help you.
Only God can help me.
And you know what ? It almost feels like He won't. Almost.

But it's hardly amazing. Hardly amazing to see what made you cover your eyes in the first place, hear what made you want to knock yourself deaf, feel what made you want to go numb.
It's terrifying. Makes the life you looked forward to something you frown upon, something you dread.
It makes you realize that life doesn't give you lemons, it squeezes the lemon juice in your eyes.
This is really why we cry.
Life.
It hurts.
And it's hardly amazing.

It's hardly amazing when you know you're losing someone that you want in your life forever.
And ever.
You don't have to be in love. You just have to know what love is. It'll happen.
A true friend doesn't slip away.


Does that mean you're not a true friend ?
It's hardly amazing.
It's horrible. It kills me.
And yet they're the ones I see dying. From the inside it translates on out.

It's also hardly amazing to hear from the words of another these deadly news, that someone you'd cross the entire universe for, just so they can lean their head on your shoulder and cry, someone that you appreciate almost more than life itself...do you get it ?

Are you getting it yet ?

You don't get it and I don't think you ever will.
Some will though.
It's hardly amazing.

In the Bible it says that this too shall pass but why does it feel like it'll always last ?
It's hardly amazing.
It's truth, but hardly amazing.

It just kills me.

God help me. I need it.
&& while you may think that my emotions just run high;; sure they do.
But it is hardly amazing to cry.
It's life.
And it's not impressing at all to pretend it isn't. Or pretend you don't feel.
So wake up and remember what's real.